Dreams From Which There Is No Waking
by Agent Frostbite
Summary: Katherine Kyle messed up. She knew she did. Now she's got to live with the consequences.


**WARNING: THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE IS LONGER THAN THE FIC ITSELF. IF YOU DON'T WANNA READ IT, FEEL FREE TO SKIP TO THE NON-BOLDED SECTION.**

 **(I tried to make it as explanatory as I could while also making it funny, and I think I did a good job, but I'm biased. I digress. Read on!)**

 ***Peeks out from behind pillow* He-Hey, everybody! How are y'all doing..? *Slowly lowers pillow* It's, uh...It's been a little while, huh? I'm, um...I'm a teeny, tiny li'l bit late on my promised posting.**

 **I CAN EXPLAIN. I have a good explanation. I have several explanations, actually. So, uh, let's start with the first one: The fic I promised? A LOT longer than I was planning on. But as I was setting it up, I was like, "Okay, how am I gonna do this? I know where I want them to go, and then interacting with everyone is gonna require line breaks," but then you run into the problem of how many lines breaks is too many, and I decided that this thing was just gonna be too long for line breaks to make sense, and so it turned into a multi-chapter fic. PROBLEM TWO: I...have not actually finished...Young Justice.**

 ***Uses pillow to block projectiles* I know, I know, I'm awful! But I have an explanation for that too, and it's basically the website that I watch it on doesn't play well with my MalwareBytes, and I'm a coward. So I just don't watch it. I put it on my Christmas list, so I might get it for Christmas, and then I won't have any excuses not to finish it. But the problem is that there are characters I don't know how to write. So I'm enlisting the help of another writer friend of mine to work with me on it.**

 **(I actually do a lot of writing with her, but none of it is in postable format. Which is sad, cause this one that we're working on now is, if we follow the plan, going to be a masterpiece. I might have yet another writer friend of mine reformat it for posting. I think y'all would really like it. Lemme know in a review if that's something you'd be interested in seeing!)**

 **So that's taking longer than it should. "But Frostbite!" you cry. "You had a whole week and a half to work on it and post it!"**

 **And I know. I don't actually know when I figured out exactly what I wanted to do with it (because the idea I was gonna use morphed into two separate things before taking on the idea it has now), but yes, I did have plenty of time. Excuse two: We have three cars. On one of them, the cylinders started misfiring, and the oil gasket was leaking, and then got accidentally replaced with a defective gasket (yes, things can be broken straight out the box, it's nobody's fault), so we didn't get that one back till last Monday. On the other, someone accidentally put a mailbox through the back window, and so we didn't get THAT one back till last Thursday. We were down to a single car household, and Dad and I are very much so worriers, so it was a super stressful time.**

 **Those got compounded with excuse 3: We had a couple deaths in the last week. My dad was close to both of them, so he's taken it pretty hard. I knew one of them personally, so I had a bit of a hard time with it, even through I didn't know him that well.**

 **Gotta love the holiday month, huh?**

 **(On a totally unrelated note, I have done literally so much driving. Like, I drove every day for a whole five days straight. I know this doesn't sound like a big deal, but I am a jobless homeschooler who lives in the back of the woods. It takes 15 minutes just to get to the freeway, hence the jobless bit.)**

 **On Friday, we had a friend do a Christmas cookie decorating birthday party, and yeah, I shoulda written that afternoon. I honestly cannot remember what I did instead. Seriously, not a clue.**

 **(Send help)**

 **Well, my sis and I had a sleepover on Saturday into Sunday (Crazy week, right?), which was loads of fun. I mean, we had a BLAST. Dan and Phil Spooky Week on a 4k TV in the living room, all the junk food we wanted, chilling with their angel of a dog and fluffy cats.**

 **Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention. I'm mildly allergic to cats. Like, it's not a problem, visiting someone who has a cat. But sleeping on the floor where they scoot around all day, every day? My nose stages a revolution. So I kinda expected to feel not so great.**

 **We went out for breakfast, and then my sis and I left for home from there (We did stop off at Petco first, which is where I started to feel bad). Ever tried to drive 840 while feeling seriously subpar? I can officially say I have! And I'm glad it was _8_ 40 and not _4_ 40.**

 **(It occurs to me that not everyone will know what I'm talking about, so I refer to two Tennessee highways that ring Nashville, with 440 being closer and having a lot more traffic. Seriously, you could shoot a post-apocalyptic movie on 840, it's so abandoned.)**

 **We got home, cleaned everything up, shower, and took some medicine before crashing on the couch. And if it's the waking hours of the day, I almost _never_ lay down. I have some strange aversion to naps and the traditional concept of laziness. My idea of lazy is reading fanfic and YouTubing, so you _know_ I feel bad when I crash on the couch, _let alone_ try to nap. And it wasn't just me, either, my sis felt just as bad, and has actually ended up worse off them me.**

 **I think I actually felt both worse and better on Monday. Normally, I try not to take medication if I can help it (because I'm weird and drugs bad, for some strange reason, but don't worry, that stigma is vanishing _fast_ ), but I was not playing games. I work up on pretty much a clockwork schedule Monday night, timed to where when I woke up, I could take more medicine. I mean, I threw the kitchen sink at this thing, even if I wasn't sure what it was beyond _not allergies_.**

 **Naturally, I did some research on Monday to try to figure out what it was. Okay, no, that's not what happened. I turned my Spotify on, started cleaning out my To Be Sorted playlist, and an ad for the Tri-Star Tennessee Emergency Room came on. "'I'm sure it's just a bad cold!' Flu symptoms are good at hiding." So I thought, 'Huh. Maybe we've got the flu.'**

 **I spent, I kid you not, like 45 minutes on research. Yes, we have the flu. Yes, I'm actually sure. And yes, we accidentally gave it to Dad. So Monday ended up being a lazy, down the drain day.** **I felt well enough on Tuesday to try to go about my normal schedule, which didn't last too long, but I _did_ get some writing done. I didn't work on the semi-sequel like I probably should've, but I hadn't planned on writing at all yesterday. **

**But my muse kicked me repeatedly in the side as I laid, curled up, like a pathetic wimp, while saying "Get up, you lazy bum, you got scrap to write."**

 **Um.**

 **Ex _cuse me_?**

 **Did I just hear the queen of vanishing _in the middle of a writing session_ tell _me_ that _I_ was being _lazy_?**

 **That's rich.**

 **Anyway, I did write for my sis one of the literal dozens of x Reader fics I have been promising for...pretty much the whole year. I wanted to see her smile, it worked, I feel vindicated, I justify my actions to no one. I then finished this other fic I'd had in the works since before I left on Saturday, wrote another fic, and started a couple more. This one, is of course, none of those. It's still fairly recent, though, so it's good. I think.**

 **I hope.**

 **I actually went through a couple variations of characters before I settled on one that I thought suitable for the Batfam, because I LOVE the Batfam. Meet Katherine. The surname she was born with was Solaris, but she changed it to Kyle after being adopted by Selina (BATCAT FOREVER), and it will be changed once again to Wayne when Bruce and Selina get married (BECAUSE SCREW YOU DC, YOU PROMISED A WEDDING, AND I'M GETTING IT!)**

 **(...I have not actually read a single DC comic book in my entire life - never seen one with my own eyes, either - but fanfic can be pretty reliable, and people like using the tags and story descriptions on Ao3 to rant, and I'm a little bit of a detective myself. Unless I'm wrong. Cause then I'm just clueless, and I'll be the first to admit that, with a megaphone, in front of a crowd.)**

 **ANYWAY, other important info: She is a Frost Phoenix, like Nikki Skylar (my first ever OC), so she wields fire and ice, has telepathy and a host of other powers that I'm not gonna list for practicality reasons... I think that's actually it. Hang on.**

 ***Muttering* Name, name change, reason for name change, powers... Yeah I think that's it.**

 **I am, as always, happy to answer questions posted in the reviews or in a PM. I promise that the first chapter of the semi-sequel I promised will be up soon, but I wanted to give y'all something as an apology for making you wait so long.**

 **God bless!**

* * *

Katherine wakes slowly, sleep covering her and dulling her senses, like a thick blanket.

 _My fault._

"Shh…" She knows that voice, like she knows her own name. But she can't remember her name right now. She can't remember who the woman sitting next to her is. She can't remember anything but fire and blood and guilt. "It's alright, Kat. I'm here."

Selina. It's Selina.

She can feel her adoptive mother's hand resting on her own, trying to comfort her. Kay cringes at the touch.

Those hands, those fingers, once so delicate and slender, skilled at picking a lock or tying a knot within seconds and making it look like an art form. Those fingers which are now completely crushed and shattered, bent unnaturally or whole but trembling from nerve damage. They'll never be fixed. Her mother is doomed to wait the rest of her days with broken fingers, and it's because of Kay.

And Bruce, what about him? Will he still love Selina without her skilled and nimble fingers, or will he turn her away? Will he turn everyone away, because Bruce, who could once to a backflip over Kay's head, has two legs broken beyond repair, even if his snapped spine could be fixed. He'll be relegated to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. The great Batman, benched for good.

Selina says something about Dick and Jason. It almost sounds like she's telling someone to get them, but that's not possible. Kay saw them incinerated by a blast wave of fire from the explosion, watched them evaporate while the fire passed over her without even singeing her hair. How is she gonna break the news to Barbara that she's now a single mother, that her child will never know its truly spectacular father? How will she tell Damian, if he ever wakes from his coma, that she failed to save his older brothers? How will she tell Harley and Pam?

She hears running footsteps, a light tread ascending the Cave stairs. Maybe they found Cass, who went missing shortly before they left the warehouse, shortly before it went up in flames and smoke. Maybe she, if no-one else, is alive and well. Maybe it's Tim, who did regain his memory after being slammed against the concrete floor so hard that Kay was surprised – but still saddened – that he suffered total memory loss and not a split-open skull.

She knows that it can't be Steph, who lost her left leg and will now have to navigate life in crutches and a prosthetic. Perhaps it's some other friend they know. Maybe even one of her aunts, allowed into the Cave on this one, special, world-shattering exception. Who knows.

She doesn't. She'd rather be dead. It's all her fault. It's all because she couldn't retreat when she was told to. She's the reason they're all shattered and broken, why their futures, once so bright, are now gone, cut short into lives of misery, if they were or are unlucky enough to survive.

The Puppet Master was right. Talia was right. The Council was right. She wasn't ready. _Isn't_ ready. Never will be. Not after this.

The Joker's laughter rings in her ears, overshadowing the harsh, barking laughs of Scarecrow. The building explodes around her, the chorus of pain-filled and dismayed cries that come from her family rise in a crescendo before falling off completely, and The Puppet Master joins the cackling trio. She wants to put her hands over her ears, but she finds that she has no arms to move, not anymore. She wills her heart to stop beating, just to leave the nightmare, and the world falls into a deathly silence.

"Sweetie, open your eyes."

Her adoptive mom has this uncanny ability to tap into a voice that sounds like her birth mother's, when she really needs Kay to do something.

She forces her eyes open and lands them on Selina's hand, to hold herself accountable for everything that happened. It's her mistake, her fault, and she needs to see that, to make herself know that she's alive and others are not, that she's _whole_ and others _are not_ , because she couldn't just stand down.

Selina's hand is _whole_.

It's whole and slender, her fingers still nimble and delicate-looking, but strong and skilled. There's not even a burn mark or scratch on her skin. Her hand is almost glowing. It stuns Kay so much that she doesn't hear what Selina says next at all. The ringing in her own ears is too loud.

Her eyes fly to the chair in front of the Batcomputer, and Bruce is sitting there. He's pouring over files but glancing over at the bed where she's laying, and the moment their gazes meet, deep blue on forest green, he stands and strides over. He _walks_ , and it's no big deal, because his legs, like Selina's hands, are undamaged. They're fine. _He's_ fine.

"Hey, baby," her mother whispers, she looks back to Selina, and then past her. Dick and Jason are bolting down the stairs. Jay's in front of Dick, right up until Dick vaults the railing – and doesn't get a scolding or curse from Jay – and the two of them come sliding to a stop right at the foot of her bed. Rambunctious as ever, but concerned for _her_. Like she's something to be fretted over and worried about. Like it's not a miracle that they're alive. "Welcome back."

"Looks like it's started to clear out of her system." That's Tim. Intelligent, genius, sleep-deprived Tim, standing somewhere nearby but out of sight. Tim, who is awake and sounds okay. She catches a glimpse of him a moment later, but only by trying to look at her 10-o'-clock, which makes her dizzy enough that she has to pinch her eyes shut once more.

Blackness, thankfully, is the only thing that rises to greet her.

Upon opening them again, everyone is still there. "What…" she manages to say before her throat locks up. It's sore and hoarse, like she's been screaming for a while. But she can't remember screaming, either in her dreams or in the real world.

"Fear Toxin," Selina explains softly, tucking a few strands of loose hair behind Kay's ear. "It's been in your system for almost 16 hours now. It's finally starting to clear out. We're all here, and we're all okay. I promise."

Kay closes her eyes with a small sigh of relief. That explained everything. The horrific attack, the nightmarish consequences, the latent _fear_ in the whole, thing, it all being her fault. Fear Toxin. Nothing actually happened. It's just a dream. Was just a dream, one that can't touch her now.

"Thank _God_ ," Kay whispers before falling back asleep. Her dreams are peaceful. And when they aren't, everyone is there to protect her. She's safe.


End file.
